Cyberbullying
Talk
with your kids about
cyberbullying
Talk
with your kids about cyberbullying
Fact is, it’s not enough to say to a kid, “So don’t go online. Don’t pick up the phone.” Could you follow that advice? I sure couldn’t. Young people are passionate about their reputations. They’re also developmentally unable to understand that anything beyond their personal hell exists. With a recent study showing that youth spend nearly every waking moment with a device in their hand, we want to share some of advice on how to talk with your child about cyberbullying and digital citizenship. Experts say there are some guidelines parents can follow to protect their children, at least until they're old enough to make decisions for themselves. 1. Monitor the use of your child’s photo online. Many cyberbullies will take your child’s photo and manipulate it in ways that are damaging or embarrassing. Be very careful about the images your child presents online, especially those coming from cell phones. 2. Watch out for cell phones, period. If you can’t figure it out, regardless of whether your child is dying to have it, don't buy it. 3. Regularly check in with kids and gauge the emotional tenor of the social network. Ask "What happened online today" right after you ask "How was school today." Often, simply raising questions and having an open discussion are the best ways to find out whether children are encountering inappropriate pressure online. 4. Set, then obey, age limits. If you’re child is under 13 they DO NOT belong on Facebook. Parents need to enforce that rule and not play ostrich. All conversations need to be age appropriate. Say "sexting" to a 13-year-old, but not to a 10-year-old. 5. Know who your kids are talking to. Don’t assume -- there is no profile for a cyberbully or a victim. It's not about spying. Teach your kids to seek out an adult, such as yourself, if they are online and one of the ' four Ds' occurs: something Dangerous, Destructive, Derogatory, or Damaging. 6. Teach kids to let it roll off their backs. Advise your kids not to make comments or join in spiteful threads. Be nice. Emphasize the positive: “I see you as a person with enormous kindness, integrity and respect for others. I expect you to be that same person when you’re using an electronic device." Don’t forward negative communication or respond back, but show it to a trusted adult. 7. The Internet is forever. Remind kids constantly of its permanence. It's not a great place to play a prank on someone, since it never goes away and spreads like wildfire. If you haven’t
had this conversation, or one like it, do not pass go. The
time is now. Students Take On
Cyberbullying
In this lesson idea, the short video “Cyberbullying” is explored through teaching strategies such as pre-viewing, anticipation guides, four corners, evaluating Internet resources, fishbowl and levels of questions. By learning about cyberbullying and how students in Watchung are taking a stand against online bullying, students may think more deeply about this in their own community. Materials
Suggested Activities Pre-viewing – Before watching the video, identify the core issue the students are attempting to address: cyberbulling. What does it mean to be bullied online? What does friendship mean in person vs. in a social network such as Facebook? How can students move from being bystanders to becoming an upstander? Then ask students to respond to the following questions:
Anticipation guides —
Anticipation
guides
(Note: Many teachers use the Four Corners strategy to structure a conversation about controversial statements.) Not in Our School: Sample Anticipation Guide: Directions: Read the statement in the left column. Decide if you strongly agree (SA), agree (A), disagree (D), or strongly disagree (SD) with the statement. Circle your response. 1. Students are the most
powerful influence on their school’s tone and
climate. They decide what kind of behavior is
acceptable and unacceptable. 2. Bystanders have the power
to stop or prevent injustice. 3. Stepping in when you see
someone treated unfairly is easier in person than
online. 4. The best way to stop
teasing, harassment and bullying is to have a
stronger system of enforcement and
punishment. 5. If someone is verbally or
physically attacking another student – someone
you do not know – the best thing to do is to
stay out of it. 6. It is unrealistic to think
that social networks (such as Facebook) can be
places where all students are treated fairly and
kindly. 7. If someone is verbally or
physically attacking your friend, the best thing to
do is to stay out of it. Using web resources on school climate, bullying and hate crimes: After having students watch the video you might want to have them explore some of the following resources to learn more about school climate, bullying and hate crimes. Students can report back to the class about what they found. Or, you can use information from these websites to create a short lecture.
You could also ask your students to use online search engines to locate information from credible sources on bullying and/or hate crimes. In addition to the general search function, Google provides searches that present information in different ways. You can find these functions on the bottom left navigation list and/or by clicking the heading “More search tools.”
Review the strategy
“Evaluating
internet resources”
Fishbowl – After students have had the opportunity to process the video independently or in small groups, facilitate a whole-class conversation. Here are some specific questions with which you might consider having students grapple:
Fishbowl
Levels of questions -- Here is an example of the kinds of questions you can use with this strategy:
Teen Victims of
Cyberbullying More Likely to Abuse Drugs and Alcohol:
Study Spanish researchers found victims of cyberbullying are at higher risk for psychological and behavioral health problems, including substance abuse, after six months of bullying, Health Behavior News Service reports. Manuel Gamez-Guadix, PhD of the University of Deusto in Spain surveyed 845 teens, and found 24 percent had been a victim of one cyberbullying behavior, 15.9 percent had experienced two such behaviors, and 8 percent had experienced cyberbullying three times. The researchers note in the Journal of Adolescent Health that cyberbullying is a growing problem among teens. It can include hurtful and harassing messages, rumors, inappropriate or fake photos and videos posted on social networking sites, or in text messages or emails. Gamez-Guadix said, “It is
important to include strategies to prevent cyberbullying
within interventions for behavioral problems during
adolescence. Mental health professionals should pay special
attention to these problems in the treatment of victims of
cyberbullying.” Why Do Kids Bully
Each Other Online? Each type of netbully requires a
different approach. They ways we can stop and prevent them
are different. And our educational campaigns have to cover
all different motiviations to be effective. And the approach
to helping the victim differs depending on why they have
been bullied. While all victims need support and caring and
understanding, there is a difference between the victim
merely being in the wrong cyberplace at the wrong time and
being the intended victim of a dangerous multi-pronged
campaign of harassment and terror. The educational and
prevention programs need to consider these differences as
well. Where Do You
Report It? Schools may try and take action when a student is bullied online. But they often find themselves defending an expensive lawsuit brought by the irate parent of the bully charging them with overstepping their authority. Schools have limited authority to address actions that take place outside of school grounds and off-hours unless it is a school-sponsored activity. Since most netbullying occurs from the bully's home computer after school, it may be outside fo the scope of a school's authority. Unless the school plans carefully in advance and builds their authority into their acceptable use contracts, they may not be authorized to act. Law enforcement is typically unprepared to deal with cyberharassment cases, specially when children are involved. They may be unable to conduct a cyber-investigation, and may not be able to find a crime to hang their hat on. While many cases of bullying online may be illegal, especially when hacking and death threats are involved, much of what occurs is not a crime. ISPs are often the best place to
start, after the bully's parents have been contacted, or if
the victim doesn't know for sure the identity fo their
bully. Most netbullying violates the ISPs terms of service.
And if the case is recorded and reported correctly, the ISP
may shut down the netbully's account. Death
Hyperlink: Internet Suicide Pacts: Medical Journal Warns of
'Cybersuicide' Trend
Within a few miles of the scene, another car held two more bodies. The suicide victims were five men and two women ranging in age from 34 to 20. They came from all over Japan. What drew them together was an Internet posting from the 34-year-old woman offering a suicide pact. On Nov. 28, four men were found dead in a Tokyo apartment where they had gassed themselves. The next day, two men and two women were found dead in a car parked near a dam outside Tokyo. Police suspect the two unrelated groups met over the Internet. Could it happen outside Japan? Psychiatrist Sundararajan Rajagopal, MD, thinks it might. His editorial in the Dec. 4 issue of the British Medical Journal sounds the alarm. Rajagopal is with the South London and Maudsley NHS Trust in London. "In recent years there has been concern about the role of the Internet in normal suicide -- solitary suicide, people who take their lives on their own," Rajagopal tells WebMD. "There is evidence that the Internet can influence people to take their own lives. The term coined is 'cybersuicide.' What we are seeing in Japan may occur sporadically in other countries. We cannot rule out the possibility that people, who might otherwise have taken their lives on their own, will meet on the Internet to form suicide pacts." Suicide Sites Easy to Find Web sites dedicated to suicide are easy to find on the Internet. Here are some excerpts from one suicide chat room: "I somethings [sic] think I'd prefer myself dead. And then other times I do as well. And sometimes, I think I'd prefer myself dead. And rarely I don't not think I'd prefer myself dead. "You really want to die but on the good days you programmed yourself to know that on the bad days when you really want to die you don't really want to die and that you are thinking irrationally. But i want to die." "Now if you'll excuse me, i have a bus to catch." "Catching a bus," on these web sites, is slang for killing oneself. Don't try to log on to save anyone. Those leaving antisuicide messages are banned from the sites. Perhaps it was just talk and nothing serious. But psychologist Gerald Goodman, PhD, professor emeritus at the University of California in Los Angeles, says it's important to take talk of suicide seriously. "Suicide oftentimes involves some sense of isolation," Goodman says. "Theorists say that the heart of it is meaninglessness. Meaninglessness without hope. When you look at why people do it, there are several things that add up: isolation, meaninglessness, and self-loathing -- disgust with oneself." If isolation is part of the recipe for suicide, wouldn't a community -- even an Internet chat room of suicidal people -- keep people from killing themselves? No, Goodman says. In fact, suicidal patients often tell him in chilling language that other people's suicides gave them "inspiration" or "courage" to kill themselves. It comes, ironically, from the human need to be known. "The suicide wants company. The suicidal person thinks, 'I want to be known by you, and if you truly empathize with me there is no question you will want to talk me out of it - because if you know me you know it is the right thing to do,'" Goodman says. "So the empathy on these web sites is not saying, "Oh, I really understand you.' Instead, they demonstrate that they know how you feel by adding to it. It is collaborative. It is mutual support for suicide." Goodman notes that there are many more web sites dedicated to mental health, support, and professional help than there are to suicide. But the suicide sites offer something enormously powerful. "Mutual support is more powerful as a change agent than psychotherapy," Goodman says. "Psychotherapy is one-way intimacy. But with mutual support, we are both in it together. You aren't going to try to talk me out of it. We want the same thing. I've heard the word inspiration twice in this context. Inspiration for suicide." Since young people are at particular risk of Internet-supported suicide, Goodman suggests that parents monitor teens' Internet use. And Rajagopal suggests that doctors and psychologists should ask depressed patients about whether they have used the Internet to obtain information about suicide. The good news, Rajagopal notes, is that very few suicides -- only about one in 100, even in Japan -- are linked to the Internet. "Suicide pacts are a very small
proportion of suicides, and the number of Internet-linked
suicides is still very small," he says. "I don't want people
to be unduly alarmed." What Can You Do To
Stop It? How do we help prevent the escalation of a bullying situation online? How do we spot the bullying websites early enough to prevent serious damage to the victim and potential bodily harm? What are the laws and what should they be? How can we get the ISP's help? And what can we do to shutdown a bullying message board, profile, guestbook or website? I'll address these and other questions
about bullying online here at Net
Bullies.com
Professional
Tennis Player Retires Following Cyber-Bullying Incident “Cyber-bullying has taken it’s toll on me,” Marino told The Star. She went on to add that though it wasn’t the main reason for her retirement, it did exacerbate the situtation. “My depression had come way before the so-called cyberbullying,” she said. Marino had received several offensive tweets recently, including ones that said, “go burn in hell” and “go die.” On a conference call with reporters, Marino said “I am opening up to you all about this because I would like to get rid of the stigma attached not only to depression but also to mental illnesses both in the public and in professional sports. If I can share my story and change one person’s outlook or life, I have reached my goal.” It’s a sad story and shows hows
social media can really hurt people. Here’s hoping that
Marino gets the help she needs and finds the happiness
she’s looking for. Teen Victims of
Cyberbullying More Likely to Abuse Drugs and Alcohol:
Study Spanish researchers found victims of cyberbullying are at higher risk for psychological and behavioral health problems, including substance abuse, after six months of bullying, Health Behavior News Service reports. Manuel Gamez-Guadix, PhD of the University of Deusto in Spain surveyed 845 teens, and found 24 percent had been a victim of one cyberbullying behavior, 15.9 percent had experienced two such behaviors, and 8 percent had experienced cyberbullying three times. The researchers note in the Journal of Adolescent Health that cyberbullying is a growing problem among teens. It can include hurtful and harassing messages, rumors, inappropriate or fake photos and videos posted on social networking sites, or in text messages or emails. Gamez-Guadix said, “It is
important to include strategies to prevent cyberbullying
within interventions for behavioral problems during
adolescence. Mental health professionals should pay special
attention to these problems in the treatment of victims of
cyberbullying.” If You Have Been
Harassed Online: What to Do Here is the legal definition of harassment according to Black's Law Dictionary: "a course of conduct directed at a specific person that causes substantial emotional distress in such person and serves no legitimate purpose" or "words, gestures, and actions which tend to annoy, alarm and abuse (verbally) another person." This is of course a very broad definition which state and federal legislation and common law have narrowed and refined in various ways. However, for our purposes, we will define online harassment as any actions that meet the qualifications of the above definition after the harasser has been told to cease. This definition, due to its broadness, is useful in that it fails to put value judgements on the complaints of individuals. 2. Tell the harasser to STOP! Clearly tell the perpetrator that his/her email, posts, comments, IRC or ICQ communications are unwanted and that you want an immediate end to them. Sometimes the best approach to this is a simple, rational "I am sorry that you feel that way, but I really feel that you are crossing some boundaries for me here and I would prefer it if we ended our communication here." 3. Contact the site administrator. If the behavior persists, you may want to contact the administrator responsible for the site. Who is the site administrator and how do you locate them? S/he is the operator of the BBS, the sysadmin of the system on which the web-based chat or other server is placed, or in the case of email the sysadmin of the system that the person harassing you is mailing from. Most often, sites have an address
called postmaster@[that site].com or
webmaster@[that site] that you can use to report
problems. If that fails, you can usually find contact
addresses at web sites , which you can find by looking up
the host name in a search engine like Alta Vista or Lycos
(to name just a couple) or you can look them up through the
internic. Searching for sites in the USA [.com, .mil,
.org, .edu, .us and .gov] will give you the full contact
information including names and addresses. The site is...
rs.internic.net/cgi-bin/whois
4. Determine your desired result. What do you want to see happen in this situation? Try to think of this more rationally than emotionally, and try to be realistic about what you can expect. Some very reasonable and realistic goals might be :
5. Take care of you first. In spite of what some people may say to you, words can hurt a lot. No matter what decisions you make about dealing with harassment, put your own emotional needs first. Sometimes you may want to simply walk away, and that's alright. There are times that we are too vulnerable to fight a battle. Get yourself into some safe places, talk it out with friends or ask me for a referral to organizations and/or professionals that can help you work through this. 6. Decide how you want to
proceed. If you feel that no progress has been made
after attempts to contact and educate the site
administrator, you may feel that you want to pursue the
matter in some other way. I can make suggestions and refer
you to other sources if that is your desire at that
time. Top Ten
Mistakes Letting someone down easy, instead of saying a definitive NO if your not interested in a relationship. Trying to be nice can lead a potentially obsessive suitor to hear what he wants instead of the message that your not interested. Ignoring the early warning signs that annoying attention might escalate into dangerous harassment and pursuit. Responding to a stalker in any way, shape or form. That means not acceding to your stalkers demands even once he or she has introduced threats. Trying to reason or bargain with a stalker. Stalking is a like a long rape. Seeking a restraining or protective order. All to often, this one act propels stalkers to act violently. Expecting police to solve your problems and make it go away. Even the LAPD's Threat Management Unit says that victims have to take 100 percent responsibility for their dealing with the situation. Taking inadequate privacy and safety precautions. Neglecting to enlist the support of family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, therapists and other victims. It may be tough to admit you're being stalked, but it's not your fault. Learn how to gather the people who will constitute your first line of defense. Ignoring your emotional needs
during and after a stalking. Do you know how to get support
you need? Simple
Avoidance Tactics Be Even More Careful Who You Decide To Meet In Person. Friendships and professional relationships you start online can be special, beneficial relationships. But it's very difficult to predict what someone is like in person just from some text, GIF or video of them. Someone may seem normal on the phone even when they aren't. Be extra careful when you bring your online friendships offline. For your first meeting, bring a friend and/or meet in a public place. Stalk Yourself. From your user
ID to what Internet directories say about you--check all the
information about you that could possibly be online. Every
time you put a piece of personal information into someone
else's hands, you are giving them power over you. Be careful
where you send your real name, address, phone number,
picture, or work history. Think about whether you really
want your full resume on the Web. Every person has to weigh
the benefits and risks and decide what personal information
they want to put online. The trick is to know what's out
there and how to hide that information if you need to. Checklist on your Personal
Information. Check your .sig file for personal info such as your full name, address (even just city and state), workplace, and phone numbers. Have ICQ? Remove any information in your Global Directory (user's details) that could tell a person who you are or where you are. Check that the email address listed is not your personal email. Use one of the free one's on the internet. Use finger to see what kinds of information might be listed about you, especially if you have a .edu account. If you think finger reveals too much about you, edit your .plan file or contact your system administrator for help. Does your Web site contain a photo, a resume, your name, address, or phone numbers? Any information about friends, family, or the area where you live? Check your source code to make sure registration information (like your name) hasn't been inserted by your HTML editor. Internet directories. Remember six months ago when you put your resume on that BBS? Did you ever leave personal information at someone's Web site for all to see? Check Web/Usenet search engines (Alta Vista, WebCrawler) and 411 phone directories for your name. Is your phone number listed in the local phone book? Your address? Could someone conceivably make a link between your online information and what's in the local phone directories? How easy would it be for someone to
find you at work? What kinds of security measures do you
have there? If It Does
Happen 1. Archive Every Piece of Communication Relating to the Situation: Save every piece of communication you get from this person. Save all of the e-mail header information you can if it is an e-mail or newsgroup posting. If you are getting chat requests, ICQ or IRC messages, or any other type of communication, take a screenshot, print it out, and write notes on it. Send copies of each harassing communication to your postmaster and the harasser's provider. Don't forget to save communications to postmasters, providers, system administrators, police, supervisors at work, and security specialists. 2. Start a Log. In addition to your archive of communications, start a log that explains the situation in more detail. Document how the harassment is affecting your life, and document what steps you're taking to stop it. 3. Tell Your Harasser To Cease and Desist. It is important that you contact your harasser directly telling him or her in simple, strong, and formal terms to stop contacting you. You must state that the communications are unwanted and inappropriate and that you will take further action if it does not stop. Don't worry about whether your letter sounds too harsh--make sure it's professional and to the point. CC: your postmaster and your harasser's. Archive the mail you have sent, and note that you sent it in your log. After you send this mail, your communication to this person must stop. Any further communication can feed the situation. The harasser's behavior will be rewarded by your attention, so it will continue. Also, if the case goes to court, your harasser can report that the communication was going both ways, and it could damage your case. It is best to keep quiet no matter how tempted you are to defend yourself. It is important that you tell your friends not to communicate with the harasser in your defense for the same reasons. 4. Tell the Right People. If this person makes contact with you via video conferencing, notify the owners or reflector monitors (refmons) of the reflector sites you frequent. The refmons can assist you and watch for any inappropriate behavior. They may even remove him from the reflector and/or ban him. There is a network of refmons out there and word can be passed on about harassment from a particular person. Report the situation to your system administrator(s), your friends, family, and coworkers. Tell your supervisor and work security personnel. Tell your apartment building's security people. Report the situation to your local police. The FBI will also take down a complaint, and they'll follow up on it if they have the manpower. 5. Take Police Action. Many states have modified their stalking laws to include electronic communications. Many states will let you file for a restraining order in cases like this, and the courts will often let you ask that your harasser pay for any filing fees. You'll need the person's address if you want to serve them with a restraining order or press charges against them. The police can get this information from the harasser's postmaster if they need to. 6. Protect Your Online Space. Change your password frequently. Pay attention to your files, directories, and last logout information. Monitor information about yourself on the Net with Alta Vista and other search engines. You might want to lay low for a while if the person is haunting you in Usenet or on IRC. 7. Protect your offline space.
Take all the precautions you would if an old boyfriend
was acting crazy, especially if you think the person can
find you at home or at work. Related Facing History Resources: www.facinghistory.org/resources/lesson_ideas/nios-1 Related NIOS Videos: 
7:57  Students Take On Cyberbullying Source: www.niot.org/nios/lesson/lesson-idea-%E2%80%9Cstudents-take-cyberbullying%E2%80%9D
Parenting Online: www.wiredkids.org/parents/parentingonline/index.html
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