Know
the Signs
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Know the signs
of bullying. One of the best ways to spot bullying in
your children's lives is watch their moods. If they are
suddenly anxious, stressed or indicating that they hate
school, take notice. Also pay attention if they say that
there's a lot of drama at school or that they have no
friends. Other signs of bullying include complaining of
headaches and stomachaches, skipping school, losing
possessions and slipping grades.
Know the
signs of self-injury. Small, linear/straight line cuts,
often parallel like railroad ties carved into forearm, the
upper arm, sometimes the legs. Some cut words into
themselves. If they're having body image issues, they may
cut the word 'fat.' If they're having trouble at school, it
may be 'stupid,' 'loser,' 'failure,' or a big 'L.'
Unexplained cuts and scratches, particularly when they
appear regularly. "The cat did it,." Mood changes like
depression or anxiety, out-of-control behavior, changes in
relationships, communication, and school
performance.
Know the
signs of depression. Feelings of self loathing,
helplessness and/or hopelessness. Dropping grades. Losing
interest in daily or favorite activities. Withdrawing
socially. Appetite or weight changes. Loss of energy and
sleeping more or less than normal. Trouble focusing, making
decisions, or remembering things. Unexplained physical
complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and
stomach pain. Unexplained excessive crying, irritability or
anger. Reckless behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive
gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports.
Know
the signs of domestic abuse. Bruises or injuries that
look like they came from choking, punching, or being thrown
down. Black eyes, red or purple marks at the neck, and
sprained wrists are common injuries in violent
relationships. Attempting to hide bruises with makeup or
clothing Making excuses like tripping or being
accident-prone or clumsy. Often the seriousness of the
injury does not match up with the explanation. Having few
close friends and being isolated from relatives and
coworkers and kept from making friends Having to ask
permission to meet, talk with, or do things with other
people Having little money available; may not have credit
cards or even a car. Having low self-esteem; being extremely
apologetic and meek Referring to the partner's temper but
not disclosing the extent of the abuse Having a drug or
alcohol abuse problem Having symptoms of depression, such as
sadness or hopelessness, or loss of interest in daily
activities Talking about suicide, attempting suicide, or
showing other warning
signs of suicide.
Know
the signs of emotional abuse. Only meeting and
interacting in a physical space like an office, home, car,
or other spaces where s/he feels ownership and familiarity
(and where you lack them). Let you speak first to establish
your baseline and look for weaknesses. Manipulation of
facts: Examples: Lying. Excuse making. Two faced. Blaming
the victim for causing their own victimization. Deformation
of the truth. Strategic disclosure or withholding of key
information. Exaggeration. Understatement. One-sided bias of
issue. Overwhelm you with facts and statistics:
“intellectual bullying”. Overwhelm you with
procedures and red tape. Raising their voice and strong body
language to displaying negative emotions. Negative
surprises. Giving you little or no time to decide. Negative
humor designed to poke at your weaknesses and disempower
you. Consistently judge and criticize you to make you feel
Inadequate through negative humor, ridiculing, and
dismissing you. The silent treatment: deliberately not
responding to your reasonable calls, text messages, emails,
or other inquiries,. Pretend ignorance, “playing
dumb” tactic. Guilt-baiting. Targeting recipient’s
soft spot. Holding another responsible for the
manipulator’s happiness and success, or unhappiness and
failures. Victimhood: Exaggerated or imagined personal or
health issues. Dependency. Co-dependency. Deliberate frailty
to elicit sympathy and favor. Playing weak, powerless, or a
martyr.
Know the signs
of inhalant use. There is a common link between inhalant
use and problems in school -- failing grades, chronic
absences and general apathy. Other signs include the
following: paint or stains on body or clothing, spots or
sores around the mouth, red or runny eyes or nose, chemical
breath odor, drunk, dazed or dizzy appearance, nausea, loss
of appetite and anxiety, excitability, or
irritability.
Know the signs
of suicide. People who are contemplating suicide may
become moody, appear hopeless and experience changes in
personality. Sometimes suicidal people will cut off contact
with other people and lose interest in activities. Or, they
may start to clean out things, throwing or giving away once
treasured items. They also might visit old friends and make
the rounds to family members. 
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