Be direct. Don't act out of anger or let yourself become hysterical. Express concern. Your kid may not talk until they're ready. It's better to open up the door, let them know you're aware of this. That you're not going to punish them, that you're just concerned. And if they don't come to you, go to someone.

Some parents mistake cutting for suicidal behavior so the kid gets dragged into the ER which often is a hostile environment for the cutter. Many kids who are not suicidal at all are being evaluated and even hospitalized as suicidal.

Psychotherapy should be the first step in treatment. Ask if the therapist has any expertise working with self-injurers. Some therapists have a fear reaction to it. The therapist needs to be comfortable with it.

The ultimate lynch pin is, the child has to decide they're not going to do this anymore. Any ultimatum, bribery, or putting them in a hospital is not going to do it. They need a good support system. They need treatment for underlying disorders like depression. They need to learn better coping mechanisms.

Parents can help by providing emotional support, helping identify early warning signs, helping kids distract themselves, lowering the child's stress level, and providing supervision at critical times. But a parent can't do it for them. It takes a certain level of resource to be able to stop cutting, and many kids don't have those resources yet. They need to stay in therapy until they get to that point.

Kids who develop this behavior have fewer resources for dealing with stress, fewer coping mechanisms. As they develop better ways of coping, as they get better at self-monitoring, it's easier to eventually give up this behavior. But it's much more complicated than something they will outgrow.