Parents have always struggled with how to talk with their kids about sex, but in a world where pornography is a mouse click away, the conversation is more complicated than ever. A rather alarming number of adolescents, girls as well as boys, seem to be looking at porn online and using it as inspiration for their own "sexting," blithely sending explicit pictures of themselves to their crushes and posing suggestively on their Facebook profiles.

This state of affair suggests that some teens may feel that they're expected to have extensive carnal knowledge at an early age—because everyone else does. Here's where you come in. You can be the reality check for your kid.

Sexting is rampant among the young, sex is as well. Nationally, seven in 10 teens will have had sex by the time they're 19. While in Brookings, 15 percent of 8th graders report having sex by age 13. 35.5 percent of 11th graders by 15 and over 52 percent by age 17 report having had sexual intercourse. 15.7 percent of 11th graders have only had one partner, with 10 percent having six or more partners.

But what about that porn? Ever thought you would have a conversation with your kid about porn? The feeling is probably mutual. But here's what he or she needs to know:

• Porn stars aren't meant to look real. Many of those bodies are surgically exaggerated, and further exaggerated by the way they're styled and photographed.
• Porn sex isn't real either. In the real world, people have complex needs, and sex is usually just one part of their relationship.
• The unrealistic expectations and simplified sex in porn can be damaging to real relationships, especially if one partner is addicted to it. Real sex usually comes with real emotions—which are intentionally absent from porn.
• Young men who've become obsessed with online porn, report having serious problems with their real romantic lives. If what turns them on becomes very different from their real potential partners, they can find themselves in trouble, as can their partners.

Porn has become an insidious part of teenage culture, so it's important to let your kids know that you are aware of that, and are open to talk about it. And when you do, it gives you the opportunity to share your values.

These conversations, and it will take more than one, may be difficult to broach, but they get easier. And when your kids are faced with confusing, or even dangerous, situations, you want them to know they have an adult they can trust to turn to—you.