________________________________

THROUGH MY EYES
__________________________________________________

Dedication
To Brookings/Harbor students who have
been injured, abused, violated or have
died in alcohol related incidents.

Preface

Anonymous 1 - 4th Place
Anonymous 2
Anonymous 3
Sarah Holland
Anonymous 5
Anonymous 6
Anonymous 7
Anonymous 8 - 6th Place
Anonymous 9
Anonymous 10 - 8th Place
Anonymous 11 - 7th Place
Anonymous 12
Anonymous 13 - 3rd Place
Anonymous 14
Blain Tidwell - 2nd Place
Anonymous 16 - 1st Place
Steven Elrod
Anonymous 18
Anonymous 19
Anonymous 20 - 5th Pace
Anonymous 21
Anonymous 22
Anonymous 23
Anonymous 24
Anonymous 25

Acknowledgments

__________________________________

Anonymous 1
______________________________________________________

 

What's in a promise? What makes those two words so significant "I promise."? Nothing but poignant meanings from a reliable gentleman. That could be debatable because in this case it was her father. This is a story of what could have been, but more importantly the opposing, what never was. All based on one promise and a poison. She woke up early that morning, November 26th, 2007.

I don't know how long it had been since she last saw her father, five months, six? It was her birthday and the only gift she received was a no show father and an empty seat. Despite resentment she lied that his apologies weren't for granted, as she hung up the phone with the caller ID stating "police station." Her heavy make up and ironed yellow sun dress in vain, she withdrew herself from the skew balloon and confettied table and retreated to her room, too prideful to cry.

At night she listened to talk behind closed doors, of her fathers most recent DUI and arrest. With this, old memories flooded back like projected slide show clips, all in horrific detail. At five years old she first witnessed abuse. A cloudy minded man throwing fists in her sibling without a tear shed or a sympathy spoken of. Countless times was the boy at the age of fourteen, left bruised and battered like a war hero. Too young to be hardened but old enough to be aware of his fathers disease. This leaving him passive to the situation as a whole. Her mother in her youth did the same. Triggers could be pointed to her temple and her own bruises bare her stories, yet she stuck around. All, almost pitying the man for being an alcoholic, for having a looming demon he could not rid. The young girl, in her prime became all too familiar with the flashing lights upon bedroom walls. Red and blue. Police were of the regular and she was the one to summon them in some circumstances. Neighbors looked down on the whole family with sympathy and some disgust, up until one day her mother took her away. But only her out of legality. Nothing could be done to save her brother from the next slow moving years of hell. Only imagination could venture you further. Moving through the memories of later years she spotted a sloppy man coming home from work and forgetting her name, passing out at random and progressively worsening to seizures. She wondered now, would there be no end? In the morning a respectable man, in the afternoon a drunk. Before long no amount of promises to quit were enough. He proceeded to drown himself in the ways of a feign until he became what she feared most, a monster. Her last thought of him until the next day. Everything was so silent in her room, her yellow dress still laying softly on her bed. Police explaining the disaster. Alcoholic, withdrawal, seizures.

It was November 28th, 2007 my father, behind bars, died. I never let on that I knew he was arrested again, im glad that wasn't his dying notion. Things like anger were a thing of the past, there was no use when he was gone. It was two days after my sixteenth birthday that he was never able to attend. And never will be attend one again. If I could only go back maybe I could stop him, but I'll never get the chance. Because death is permanent, and alcohol is a murderer.

 

 

__________________________________

Anonymous 2 ______________________________________________________

Alcohol has had very little effect on my life; but still it has had some effect on it. There have been both good and bad outcomes from alcohol throughout my life. I say that there have been good as well as bad effects from drinking alcohol because, if used responsibly I think alcohol is a wonderful thing.

I have had many amazing experiences while under the influence of alcohol. It brings people together in a joyful mood, and also allows for the individual to be more self-confident, and in most responsibly used cases it brings out the best in people. But in other cases it has the adverse effect resulting in fights, loud arguments and sometimes changing the consumer into a belligerent, blubbering idiot.

I have had experiences where both effects of alcohol have shown themselves. My favorite experiences with alcohol have been while on camping trips with my family, and from those camping trips I have many fond memories. Although at times when people drink irresponsibly things tend to get out of hand.

Alcoholics (people who drink on a regular basis just to get drunk) are usually ass-holes. They tend to be abusive, inconsiderate and snappy. When one becomes an alcoholic he/she chooses to let substances control his/her life. Personally I don't want to allow a substance to control my life, and thus I choose not to be an alcoholic.

 __________________________________

Anonymous 3
_______________________________________________________

 

Thinking about it, alcohol has affected my life in more ways that I would have imagined. Starting my freshman year I hung out with a lot of juniors. Back then I had my parents' trust because I'd never done anything to take it away, until I started trying to keep up with those juniors. I would do anything to have that trust back.

My first real experience with alcohol was December 4, 2005. I was with my junior friends, driving around town trying to find something to do. We ended up finding a friend who had alcohol and an empty apartment for us to drink in because she was baby sitting for someone who didn't care if we drank. Before I knew it I was taking shots of vodka out of a wine glass and I remember taking at least six wine glass shots. At the time I was about 5'5" and 105 pounds, as you can imagine it took a toll on my body. I don't remember anymore of that night but my friends and family do. I almost died that night at the age of fourteen and I got my punishment for living. I was horribly sick for almost a week, got an M.I.P. and most of all lost my parents trust. Still to this day they don't fully trust me.

That's only one of my experiences; I've seen alcohol change my favorite person to someone I hate and someone that hurts me. I've had too many friends to count change because of alcohol and now we are no longer friends. People don't realize this little bottle of poison can change someone's life in a flash.

__________________________________

Sarah Holland
______________________________________________________

 

They had gone to a party, he was drinking, and she wasn't. He had promised to take it slow, but she knew the chances of that were slim to none. On drink quickly turned into two, and so on. Within the first half hour of the party he was trashed. She wondered how he could even stand.

In a matter of minutes things changed. He was sick, and screaming at her. She didn't notice it though, she was more concerned about him falling and hurting himself. She would be up all night with him, checking on him. She hated worrying about him, even more than him yelling at her in front of all their friends. As long as he drank things would be like this, but she was stuck. If she left he would only get worse and it would be on her hands.

There had been many nights where she had done this. He was always sorry in the morning. The next night he would turn around and do the same thing, despite his promises to cut back, or stop all together. She didn't even drink, but was caught in the vicious cycle her man had created.

 __________________________________

Anonymous 5
_______________________________________________________

 

Well to start off I think that alcohol is awesome and is an important part of society today. Though there are many cons to alcohol in general, I think that alcohol had lead to many great experiences on my part and many others.

It all started on night when I was hanging out with some of my friends and we decided to get some alcohol and get all twisted. We got a hold of a couple of 30 packs and some hard alcohol. We decided to have the party in a field and lit up a roaring fire. The drinking started off slowly with everyone just talking and sipping down the barley pops. Soon enough we started to feel a buzz and that's when things began to pick up. We started to chug down the alcohol and my vision began to grow blurrier and blurrier with the more alcohol I consumed. We then decided to throw a big wooden spool on the fire and one of the crazier of us decided to stand on it while it burned, which he successfully accomplished with the help of a little Yeager.

The night kept getting later and the alcohol in cans and bottles just kept diminishing as our legs got wobblier and wobblier. We were all having a good time yelling out random crap and just plain BS'ing. We then decided we were all pretty trashed and stumbled our way down the dirt road to an old, rickety, abandoned, crack head trailer and straight messed that thing up. We kicked out the walls and all had a grand time doing so. We then stumbled blurry eyes back to camp and after a night of good times and fun we all passed out carefree and accomplished.

All in all I think alcohol has more positive effects than negative (in my experiences), but as with anything alcohol is always better in moderation.

__________________________________

Anonymous 6
______________________________________________________

Alcohol has changed my life in a countless amount of ways. It has changed my friends to the point where I feel as if I don't even know who they are anymore. It has caused by oldest sister who has two kids to get a divorced, but the biggest thing that affected me is what alcohol has done to my dad.

As a kid I didn't' think much of my dad drinking because he always had, it seemed normal. I didn't actually realize what it was doing to him and the effects it had on my entire family. As I got older I started to see things more and more and realize what was going on behind the scenes. I would wake up in the middle of the night to my parents yelling at the top of their lungs because my dad had come home drunk once again. That's when I started realizing how much it really hurt my mom. She did everything in her power to hide what was going on between them and tried so hard to make us kids happy that she didn't have any time for herself. I could tell that everything my dad was did was killing her inside. There were times when we would come home from school and all our belongings would be sitting outside on the lawn because my dad lied to my mom about paying the bills and went and bought alcohol instead. We went a week being homeless and living in a hotel. My dad had run are credit so far down that we couldn't get a house.

When all the kids got older and my mom realized she wouldn't be able to hide things anymore she decided that getting a divorce would be the best thing for all of us. At first it wasn't too bad. My mom seemed happier and started losing weight and we still got to see my dad every so often. We could finally have our friends stay the night because there wasn't the chance of my parents getting in another argument. It made me happy to see my mom so happy.

A couple years went by before he started influencing our lives in bad ways again. My dad was living in his truck and got a DUI sending him to jail. Everyone at school heard about this and would tease me and my siblings about it. I just did my best to ignore them and keep a positive attitude. When my dad got out of jail he decided he needed to sober up and do something with his life. It made us happy to see this happen with him. Inside I knew it was just a matter of time till things would fall apart again though. After the second time, I no longer considered him my dad. It took him getting thrown in jail twice to finally realize he needed to stop drinking forever. Today he is doing well and hasn't drank in two years. I am happy for him and the fact that he could finally see how it hurt him and his family but to me he still hasn't earned the right for me to finally call him "dad" again.

__________________________________

Anonymous 7
______________________________________________________

 

Brookings-Harbor High School sports have been decimated by the effects of alcohol and teen drinking. This year our volleyball team had the chance to go to state, for the first time in many years. The school was pumped up to go. Nobody knew going to practice that day one of their key players was no longer going to be a part of their team. One varsity player got kicked off the team that day for being caught at a party. She didn't know or think at the time that she was going to affect her whole team. All the girls were devastated, they all thought how their great season was going to slip away from them.

The All League Championship soccer team had another devastating blow. Three girls and one boy were removed from the team. One of the girls was a starter, and so was the boy. Unfortunately that did put a lot of stress on the teams for they needed the players to help them keep their name as All League Champions. Both teams kept the name but with those players they could have gone much further in the play-offs.

Cheerleaders had two grils suspended from only one basketball game. Only no body will ever know if they could have had that extra practice they might have gotten higher in state. Girl's basketball had two girls from volleyball and soccer still suspended. They had to take classes to make up for what they did. One player went to a party, she didn't drink but got caught just being there and was suspended from the team for a month. That some what affected the team but lucky for them they are going to play-offs and have all their players.

Softball has always been my passion. This year we are going to have a very strong team. My main worry at this point is someone will make a wrong decision and go to a party. Having a player be kicked off because they make a stupid decision will affect our team a lot. Every player we have is very important to us. This being my senior year and always playing softball it would really devastate me losing someone so important to our team. I really hope everyone will make a good decision and stay away from alcohol, start making good choices and not hurt anymore teams.

 

__________________________________

Anonymous 8
______________________________________________________

 

Drinking has never been part of my regular weekend plans like others in my high school. I have never felt the need to get drunk with my peers and do irresponsible things as often as possible. Unfortunately there are many students at my school that feel that drinking is one of their most fun pass times, I do not agree.

I have seen the negative effects of drinking underage. I have seen the risks that you can encounter; tickets, loss of respect, and mental damage. Some students of Brookings-Harbor high School have experienced the negative risks associated with understand drinking. When you are caught drinking underage, if you play a sport; you will be suspended from the team. Unfortunately some of our sports teams during the 2009-2010 year have already dealt with this punishment. I wish the students of my school, and future students, could recognize and respect the risks associated with drinking.

Many younger students that are getting ready to start high school soon should be prepared for social pressure to drink alcohol. While there is pressure to drink by some of your peers, there are also other students that do not choose to participate in underage drinking. To younger students that do not want to drink, take the time to look for other kids like you that have better things to do. Participate in a club, spend time with your family, or find a part time job.

If you look, you can find other friends that won't try to pressure you into doing things that you don't want to do. If you set your own limits and uphold them through the help of your friends, you will not need to worry about social pressures. It may seem that "everyone" has drank or partied, but it is not true. Look harder and you will find a large group of students that do not believe in underage drinking, too.

  _________________________________

Anonymous 9
______________________________________________________

 

Alcohol ruins lives, that's a given. There's no mystery in how alcohol affects household all over the world, and how devastating to a family it can be. So how does something so negative to millions of daughters, mothers, brothers, and fathers turn out to be so positive for me? Luck of the draw.

Choices made voluntary by others, but that determine my life involuntarily. My mother chose differently than those of her family. Holidays, every one of her relative's excuses to get together and validate their ever prominent alcoholism. With drunken mornings that lead to afternoons, to nights, day after day, long after celebrations were over.

My Christmases are sober, amicable. The negative effects of alcohol on my mother's life, has given me the positive life that I see as the only way of living. Without alcohol. My life is as positive as it is because of the negative effects of alcohol.

Luck of the draw. Because my mother grew up around alcoholics, I reaped the benefits of her choices to be different than them, to not drink. Her voluntary choice of being a better person involuntarily changed the course of my life for the better.

When you drink, you don't only affect your own life. When you drink, you voluntarily make decisions that involuntarily change the course of other's lives. You are responsible for everyone around you when you become an alcoholic. You change the course for generations in your family for decades to come. Drinking is not a personal choice. It's a life devastating choice, that doesn't only affect your life. It affects your child, my mother, my brothers, sisters, daughters, sons. Voluntarily make a choice not to drink, so we don't have to.

 __________________________________

Anonymous 10
_______________________________________________________

 

Growing up I have always been around alcohol, I'm not saying that my parents were alcoholics, but that every night they would have a large glass or two of wine. Alcohol never really affected my life until I was thirteen. It was at that age that I received a call from my mom telling me how my oldest brother Daniel was in the emergency room. Later I found that he had gone to a bar, got drunk, picked up a girl then fell asleep at the wheel of his car on his way home. He had crashed into a brick building, injuring himself and the girl. They were both in critical condition.

A year later my cousin died. He was seventeen years old and the driver of the vehicle. He had three friends in the car who were lucky enough to survive the accident. As it turns out my cousin and his friends had been drinking. They were on there way to my cousin's house when he swerved and crashed into a tree, dying on impact. His funeral was heartbreaking, I had never met my cousin before but even that didn't mask the pain I felt. In fact it made it all the worse, I had never met my cousin and now there was no chance I ever would.

Not even a year ago my brother Daniel moved up to Oregon and was visiting my mom before moving to the coast to live with my dad. He had broken up with his girlfriend of four years so that they wouldn't have to deal with a long distance relationship. After a couple days of Noelle calling every hour or so to beg him to come back, my brother cracked.

Overcome with depression my brother started drinking, then when the alcohol couldn't take away the pain he started popping pills, he managed to swallow the entire bottle. Thankfully around that time my mother called home to check on him, after talking to him for a minute she immediately hung up and called 911. My brother was rushed to the ER where they without delay they pumped his stomach. He was in critical care for about three days where he was under constant observation. He was lucky to survive.

Alcohol is the reason I will never know my cousin. It is the reason my brother owes over ten thousand dollars in hospital bills, and almost his life. When you drink alcohol you pay a price; I just wish my cousin hadn't had to pay with his life.

  _________________________________

Anonymous 11
______________________________________________________

I didn't know that a fun night out with friends was going to turn into the worst night of my life. I was staying out of town with a few friends for the weekend. That Saturday night we chose to attend a sweet 16 birthday party. We knew there was going to be alcohol there and we were still okay going. This was going to be my first party and I was especially excited. We arrived to the house and drinks were already flying around. We started drinking and playing games. More people started to show up and the house started to get crowded. I knew nobody there and became the "Cute out-of-town girl." I ended up drinking heavily and started to feel extremely sick. An older boy walked me into a spare bedroom. The boy laid me down and I fell asleep. I had no idea what was going to happen next.

I woke up from an immense bang. The door slammed shut and two boys locked the door. After I became more aware I started to panic. I tried to scream, the boy covered my mouth. I tried to fight him, he punched me in the face. I was so scared I didn't know what I was going to do, so I just laid still. The two boys ripped off all my clothes and did exactly what they wanted to do. I couldn't do anything about it.

Alcohol played a big role and I will never forget what happened. I was young, innocent, and dumb. I was beaten, slapped, and mind and body was torn apart that night, all because of poor decisions and the effects that alcohol had on me.

I haven't picked up a drink since.

__________________________________

Anonymous 12
______________________________________________________

 

Have you ever been scared for the life of a friend? Did you ever wonder which moment could be his last? Maybe he is an unsafe driver, or just doesn't value his life enough. Imagine a friend drinking far over his limit, lying in a bed passed out, waking up every few minutes to vomit. Here is how the story goes. Amy, Carmen, Jenny and I were getting bored at a high school basketball game, so we decided to go to our friend Mark's house. We walked inside the house full of boys, and three of the four boys had taken off running, thinking that we were Mark's parents. Only two of the three boys came back. So it was Amy, Carmen Jenny, John, Robert and I at the house. Mark offered all us girls a drink but only Amy and I accepted. He crawled through his parents' window to get a bottle of Vodka, and poured us two shots each. Shortly after, us girls decided to leave the house and hang out in town. Jenny, who had not drank, was driving. As Amy, Carmen and I were starting to get bored in town again, we decided to head back to the house. When we got there, all the boys were in Mark's room and Mark was laying sideways on his bed, vomiting into a trash can. His consciousness went back and forth for about the next half hour. While he was awake, John made him smell the bottle and swear he would never drink again. After a while, he would barely wake up. At this point we knew we had to try something. I turned on a cold shower, while John and Anthony (The boy who had taken off when we first came to the house) carried Mark into the bathroom. After he got out of the shower, He was able to walk, and make sense while he was talking to us. He told us that he needed to go to sleep, and he needed us to help him make the house look normal. All the guys started to take off, and Amy, Carmen and I thought we would have to take care of everything ourselves. I took out the trash while Amy and Carmen turned off the lights. We said goodnight, and walked out the front door, locking it behind us. For the rest of the weekend, I could not forget how that boy's face looked, and I could not stop thinking about the possibility that maybe, he hadn't woken up the next morning. Maybe his parents came back that night to their little boy, filled from alcohol poisoning. Even though I had heard of worse situations dealing with alcohol, this was my own personal experience. Since that night, I vowed to always do everything I can to make sure everyone will wake up in the morning.

 __________________________________

Anonymous 13
______________________________________________________

 

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" My throat was dry as a desert, my hands shook and tears strolled down my face wishing I was dead. (Sniff.) "T-t-there has been an accident." It took everything is my bruised body to hold back my whimpered cries. "Okay, I need you to tell me where you're located."  The last thing I remembered was sitting next to my two best friends at the homecoming after party the seniors were all invited to. My head was throbbing as I tried to see a sign. "Um, I think it was 28th and Main?" "Alright, I need you to try and stay calm. An ambulance is on..."

It was the last thing I heard before the world went dark. I woke up 3 hours later in Intensive Care with broken ribs, black eyes, bruised legs, and my face and arms were badly cut with glass. All I could think about was Lacey and Britney. My mind raced wondering how bad they were hurt and where they were. I balled my eyes out until my parents and doctor came in the room. I held my breath as the doctor told me the news. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew it was true. Britney had died shortly after arriving at the hospital. Lacey had barely managed to make it. For several nights I drowned my hands in tears of guilt and sorrow wishing I could have changed the past. I had lost my best friend and hurt another over what only seemed as 4 drinks.

The following month Lacey and I attended her funeral. My heart wrenched as I saw her body lying in her coffin. Looking at her once delicate face made me wonder why it was so important that I drank that night. Just because everyone else around me were doing it to pass the time and make things "fun" didn't mean I had to be part of that. Being with my two best friends was good enough for me. The most heartbreaking moment after everything was said and done was that I never got to say goodbye. I never truly had the chance to tell her how wonderful of a friend she was to me. From that day forward Lacey and I had vowed to never drink again. Just because someone tells you its cool or everyone is doing it doesn't mean that you should drink. Always ask yourself this; would you risk you friend for a drink?

__________________________________

Anonymous 14
______________________________________________________

 

The Alliance and I pulled up to the exclusive party place and I knew I was going to leave everything at the exclusive party place. I walk over to the half pipe and before I get introduced I am offered a pull off of some Jose. I grabbed the bottle with a tight grip and threw it back. I grabbed my skateboard with the same grip and took to the half pipe. I was a little wobbly, but I got the God Damn job done. I go down off the ramp and was rewarded with another pull that I couldn't refuse.

I had had so many pulls of the Jose that I couldn't remember how much I had had to drink, but I knew that it was too much. I tried to pick up my skateboard but the strength I had in my grip told me I should put it down. I was walking away from the half pipe when I had one of those horrible feelings in my stomach I had ever experienced. I spent the next two hours yakking my stomach out and thinking I will never put Jose on my back again.

I have had many experiences drinking and I know enough that it could be a great time or a time you hope you don't remember. If you don't let drinking take control of your life and do it just to have a good time you should do just fine. I always drink responsibly and usually know my limit and the most important thing is I never drink and drive.

 __________________________________

Blain Tidwell
______________________________________________________

 

Having seen what alcohol has done to the families of alcoholics, I have come to realize that I have truly been blessed. The fact that alcohol has not take over the lives of any of my loved ones is something that I am extremely grateful for. I don't believe that I could handle it if my life were as hard as some that I have seen.

The families of alcoholics are some of the strongest individuals I have ever met. The hurt and heartbreak they go through are things that no one should ever have to live with. A child not having any new clothes because their parents spent all of their money on beer is terrible. Their stories are so dreadful that you cant help but cry.

It is somewhat difficult to not drink because of the peer pressure most teens go through. For the most part, To me the best way to prevent drinking under peer pressure or not is to think of how the families I have seen are. I know I don't want my life to be like that, and I wouldn't want to put my children through that torture later on in life. When I think of how my life could end up, it is extremely easy to just say no to drinking.

I find it disgusting how easily alcohol can take someone's life. Whether its drunk driving or getting alcohol poisoning from binge drinking, it is completely preventable. I consider how much I love my family and friends, and I know that drinking is not worth the risk of never being able to see them again.

There is a great amount of things that I enjoy doing instead of drinking. I don't think that you need to have something altering your brain so you can have fun. Just being yourself and living your life sober is a great way to experience things, rather than hardly being able to function because you have had just a little too much to drink.

 

__________________________________

Anonymous 16
______________________________________________________

It was the year 2003, I was in the seventh grade of school, and life was good. My friends and I had been doing great in school, good grades, stayed out of trouble, and we were going to join the soccer team later in the year. My two best friends, Jeremy and John Gorman, were twin brothers I had befriended when I first moved to this town. Jeremy was the smart one they would always say, he had a future, always reading up on biology and wanted to be a biologist. John, on the other hand, was on a whole different spectrum, he wanted to be a pro soccer player. They did everything together, at least, until that fateful day in March.

Jeremy, John and I were walking from the middle school back to their house. We planned to hang out in their room and play Jeremy's PS2, which he had just gotten as a Birthday present Six days ago. It was strange, thinking back on that day, how simple everything seemed school, homework, play, sleep. A Cycle you never thought could change, but simple times come to abrupt, tragic ends. All thanks to alcohol.

They say he was always a problem drinker; he periodically would be carried home by his friends from the local bar. They told John later than he had gotten in a fight with his wife while they were drinking and stormed out of the house, driving off. That man, driving while drunk as he was, caused a most cataclysmic change to our simple cycle. As we walked, laughing down the road to the twin's house, the man came swerving down the road and hit Jeremy, killing him instantly.

They say grief built hate, but John never showed it, he was shell shocked, didn't talk for days after the accident. I remember him being pulled out of class many times in the weeks following the accident, always to go talk to some counselor. Back then I didn't understand how he felt, to me I had lost a friend; to him he had lost a brother, his other self. Maybe that's why he did what he did.

It was two months after the accident that the ambulance showed up at the Gorman's home. The siren's filled our road on that cold June morning. I went outside and headed over to the Gorman's home, and began asking questions, wondering what happened. I finally saw Mrs. and Mr. Gorman sitting in the kitchen next to a police officer crying. I overhead the conversation; John had hung himself from Jeremy's bunk bed. I felt blown away, my mind was shocked, both my best friend's were dead, gone forever. I headed out of the house, but stopped. On the table in the living room was a letter in a plastic baggy, a letter from John. It read:

"I'm sorry I did this, but I couldn't stand the pain, every morning waking up with him missing, I felt broken. I hate that man for what he did, he was so stupid. But it's ok now, I'm going to go see Jeremy. Bye mommy and daddy, I love you"

I read the note from afar; saw some of the smudges from tears littering the paper. I turned to Mr. and Mrs. Gorman and watched them cry for awhile, unsure of what to do. Finally, I left the house and went out to the curb, thinking about it all, how the man, being drunk, drove out from his house and started this all. I held my head in my hands, and cried.

 

_________________________________

Steven Elrod
_____________________________________________________

My name is Steven Elrod, I am a senior at BHHS. I am not old enough to call myself an adult as I am only seventeen years old. I am however, old enough to claim the disease of alcoholism. My first alcoholic drink consumption was at the age of two, and my first intoxication was shortly afterwards. This was not the beginning of my problem. My Father passed away September 16, 2005 of several factors, a main one being liver failure. I lost more than my father. I lost a protector, a teacher, and a disciplinarian. There was no longer a male figure in my life to guide me and warn me of the evil in this world. This void was vast and painful, so I tried to fill it; with many things including alcohol. This is not the end of my problem.

I am, from my very first breath to the moment I leave this earthly plane an alcoholic. I do not choose this life, nor did I want this disease and responsibility. I was born into alcoholism by my father who drank heavily before I was born, increasing my likelihood over the average person for alcoholism by over 900 times; I am a genetically predisposed alcoholic. There are no fingers to point, no one else to blame for my problem but my own. Some would look to my father, saying that his poor choices changed my life forever in a way I will never fully comprehend. I would not. Not only did my father live a good life, raising his sons and family how he saw ethically, religiously and morally fit, but he lived his own life and made his own path. To hold anger and grief against my father for what he did before he met my mother would be irrational and vain. I hold only hope, hope that the eyes who read my testimony of genetic weakness will think more about the echo that their actions will have, not only in their own life, but in the other who they care for. My name is Steven Elrod, I am a seventeen year alcoholic and I humbly implore that all alcohol is not rejected but rather questioned, for I am living proof that all sins shall not go unpunished.

 

_________________________________

Anonymous 18
____________________________________________________

 

I was about eleven when I first drank. It was with my aunts and it wasn't very much. I went to a lot of parties with my aunt and by the time I got my permit and then my licence I became their designated driver. So I was around alcohol a lot. However my parents don't drink.

As I got older I started to drink more at the parties. Then I started to party with friends and just after that I was partying with people I had never met before. I started sneaking out and drinking more and harder alcohol. I found myself hungover and sick a lot of the time, yet I was always up for going out and doing the same thing the next night. I just couldn't get enough of it.

I was in a croud with some bad people. I started getting into drugs and I started smoking. My life was a mess I always looked like crap, I was to high or hungover to care what I looked like. Somehow I always managed to pull myself together and look great at the next party.

The hardest part to look back on is that in just a couple months I was suddenly on the verge of destroying my life. Till one party almosdt ended it all. I had drank so much that night and had taken some pills. I still to this day have no idea exactly what happened that night. When I woke up the next morning I had no idea where I was sicker than I had even been before.

After hearing some of the stories about what happened I decided I was done, I had to stop. I was destroying everything I had worked so hard for. Im clean and sober now, I will never make the same mistake again. In just a matter of months my life was almost gone. I will never let alcohol affect my life again.

_________________________________

Anonymous 19
____________________________________________________

 

Saturday, New Year's night around six p.m I had cracked into my first beer. Along with five others we had set out to get the most messed up anyone has even been.

Earlier that day my friend and I had went to the liquor store to buy a large amount of alcohol. Ended up costing $114.50 cents, three thirty packs a half gallon of Yeager and six tilts.

Anyways that night we had started out playing beer pong. I mean game, after game, after game of beer pong. We finished off two thirty packs of beer just from beer pong! That's 60 beers, so ten beers each. We were drunk or course but who says were done!

Drinking about ten beers wasn't enough, so we popped the half gallon of Yeager and had like literally eleven or twelve Yeager bombs each tell it was gone. Two thirty packs and a half gallon of Yeager down, one thirty pack and six tilts to go!

By this time the bath rooms were taken and I had to piss. So I get this idea right, and it was to piss off the deck... well a couple of my friends were down there smoking and I pissed all over my friend ha-ha. So he ran up stairs and that funny thing is, is he was drunk so he ate mega shit coming up the stairs.

Around one p.m every one was tanked playing video games, bullshiting in the kitchen. Around two we had finished everything besides the tilts so you can only image how incoherent we were. We had all found our way to the couch playing online halo 2 and ha-ha I got like 14 kills, not bad if a do say so myself.

By three p.m we were all out sleeping like babies but for some reason I had woken up to this sound and it was my friend who had drunken 24 beers to himself was sleep walking and pissing in the cloths basket for like literally four minutes ha-ha but I was too drunk to care so I let it slide and laughed it up in the morning! Oh yeah and the kid who ate shit running up the stairs got himself a pretty shiner then next morning...

__________________________________

Anonymous 20
______________________________________________________

 

Who would have thought the fermentation of fruit, hops, barley and other things would develop into a drinkable fluid capable of destroying personalities, bodies, and in extreme cases, lives. After all, this is all the drink consists of. In plain scientific terms, it is simply a weak poison, with short term effects of disorientation and illness. Yet somehow, this simple fluid has become a stronghold and gateway into and for many desperate situations.

I have no bad experiences with alcohol on a personal basis. My parents never drank irresponsibly, and I have never either. I have never woken up on a floor after a night of drinking covered in throw up, I have never had to disguise a painful hangover, and I have never destroyed relationships with my intoxication. I have never been hit, yelled at or abused in any sort of way by a drunken parent. Neither have I had to watch a close friend get rushed to the emergency room for alcohol poisoning. All the stories of hardships have luckily not become mind.

I have no personal experiences with the damaging effects of alcohol. I have however heard them. I have listened to my friend's heartache after a drunken episode with her parent, I have heard worried accounts of friends parents drunken driving escapades and I have watched as my cousin had to bury not one but three people she loved due to parties gone terribly wrong. All this has kept me sane about my own experiences with the drink.

Alcohol, in moderation, with a healthy person both mind and body is typically nothing to outlaw. But alcohol in the hands of a weakened willpower or child is deadly. My opinion is that it is not the drink, but the state of the person consuming it. People need to become more personally responsible or their issues will not be fixed.

 __________________________________

Anonymous 21
______________________________________________________

Why would someone be proud of being an alcoholic? Kids usually think people who can drink are cool. That is probably why lots of my friends and people my age always try to show others that they can they are drinkers, especially beer and wine at parties.

Once, I and my friend went to a birthday party. It was fun at first, but then they started to bring out wine and beer. I drank a cup of beer, and my face got flushed. I stopped. But my friend kept drinking wine. I did not know what kind of wine it was, but he had drunk one whole bottle already. People started to scream out: "Wuhu!! Look at him! Wow!" He drank more and more...The party ended, and I took him home at 11:30 that night. If my parents had been at home, I would have died. He was out of control and started yelling and laughing like crazy. And the worst thing was that he threw up. Why did he have to drink that much and then I was the one that had to clean up? He smelled really bad, just like a pig and was as dirty as a mouse that had just run through the mud. Did I mention that he threw up on my back? Yep. I was stinky like a pig, too. Two pigs were on the street.

But he is not the only one I know that drinks. My cousin drinks, too. She is one year older than me. Her parents travel a lot and they do not really care about what their kids do. It was last summer when I and my brother went on a trip with her and her brother. On the last day, we decided to go to a club and have some fun. But it was not fun for me at all. We went to the nightclub, and of course we drank. I have never been a good drinker, so I could not drink much. My brother did not drink much either, and we were thankful for that. Because my cousins were so drunk that he had to carry them to the car and drove back to the hotel. I had only two swallows, but my head was so dizzy I could not sleep until 4 or 5 am. The problem was that we woke up late the next morning and missed out plane. We had to change our tickets and pay an extra fee for that. To be honest, that was the worst, and most remembered trip ever.

All my memories about alcohol are terrible. So do not think that I am pretending to be a good kid by saying this, but it is true: "Alcohol is bad."

__________________________________

Anonymous 22
_____________________________________________________

 

It was the weekend after the SAT's. After tireless hours of preparing for a test that possibly could decide the rest of our lives, we were ready to party like no other. My best friend's parents were out of town, and you can bet we were going to drink as much as possible in the time they were going to be gone. We stocked the fridge. Vodka, beer, and Mike's hard flowed from the doors like water from a river in paradise. It was beautiful, I almost cried. As soon as I got off work we all headed to the house on that lovely Saturday evening with only one thing on our minds, drink till the sun rises. We did just that.

We started off subtly, subtle as a gun. We pounded shots like we were 50-year old axe men, fresh out of the forest, done with a hard day's labor. Simultaneously we played beer pong for countless hours hammering away at the fridge full of drink. It was magical, to me. I assume we all looked like a bunch of idiots, but that's not the point.

As the night went on, and as the refrigerator's alcoholic glory began to fade, so did our sobriety. A room full of bright, mature high school students rapidly became a room full of drunken, horny teenagers. This is my heaven, a sad sight to any adult individual, but a whole full of splendor and wonderment for someone of my particular taste. My drunken stupor led me through the house laughing and socializing with every girl there. I don't know it if was my outgoing personality talking, or my reproductive organs. I'm going to place my bet on number two.

Light switch. Bulbs like the sun shine in my eyes like morning telling me it has come. It hasn't. A roar of laugher arises from my friends as my vision returns to clarity. I try my best to get on my feet. It's a little hard to do when you have been passed out in a 6x3 foot pantry for three hours. I reach for the door to get out, all I grab is air. I realize that I have just tried to grab a solid wall. This brings even more laughter from my friends witnessing this ridiculous event. I need to throw up. I rush to the bathroom as fast as a drunkard can, and it's just fast enough...to throw up all over the bathroom rug. Great night..

 __________________________________

Anonymous 23

_______________________________________________________

 

Alcohol has never really affected my life in a big way. Neither of my parents drink. When I hit high school, it seemed like a lot more kids were into the drinking thing. I remember the first time I got drunk. My friend came to visit from Astoria, I hadn't seen her in years. She stayed the night at my house. It being her first night back, we wanted to party. We snuck out that night, and went. She didn't drink. I drank a lot, and before I knew it, it was four in the morning. We had to be back before my mother woke up for work. One of my friends gave us a ride, but we had to stop and get gas first. My friend and I went into the bathroom. I was standing next to the sink, I started to get really dizzy and fell into it, it fell, and water was everywhere. Before we knew it two police cars had arrived. That night, I was humiliated, scared, and wasted. They were nice and let us just go home. The next day a police officer showed up at my house. Told my parents, and told me I had to pay the station one thousand dollars. Took me all summer. I was lucky, and did not receive an MIP.

My parents were mad and disappointed. What I learned from this experience was that there is a reason for a legal drinking age. Just because it looks like fun, doesn't mean you are ready for it. It comes with responsibility and consequences. When you're a teen that drinks, sometimes you have fun, or it causes drama, or bad choices, or sometimes you just get caught. A lot of kids think drinking makes you look cool, but how cool do you think you look, bent over a toilet throwing up, or hugging the wall barely able to stand?

 __________________________________

Anonymous 24

______________________________________________________

 

Last year, during spring break, I made a bad decision. I thought it was going to be a fun, sober break, but I was wrong. I ended up doing the stupidest thing I have ever done. It all started on my birthday.

I was at my house. I was enjoying the fact that I had just become 17. Then all if a sudden, my friends come over. They came in holding a couple of six packs, vodka, and whiskey. They actually weren't aware that it was my birthday. They just came over because they thought it would be fun to have a party at my house. So I told them that it was my birthday and then out of nowhere, one of my friends offered me a shot of vodka. Of course, I said no, but they still pressured me to take a drink. So I decided to take one drink. I was going to take only one drink and then no more. I took the cup and poured the vodka into my mouth. The alcohol was strong in my mouth, making it hard for me to swallow. When I finally did, I started to cough because of how strong it was. After that, I was still offered another drink; this time, a shot of whiskey. I said no again but after all the pressure, I just finally decided, what the heck, it's just one day. So I took another drink this time more carefully and managed to drink it without coughing. Then he mixed together the whiskey and the vodka together into one cup and had me drink it. Of course, it tasted really bad. There was guide a lot of it which made it hard to me to finish. Even though it was about 4 shots, I got really drunk. I was doing lots of strange stuff including, playing my guitar and probably sounding really bad. My house eventually filled up with people. Most of them my sister invited. They were playing beer pong in the kitchen while I was just watching. I eventually got bored so I went to lie down in my bed.

After what seemed like a couple of minutes, the doorbell rings. I was in my room still drunk when this happens. I quickly learned that it was the cops checking our house because someone reported us. At this point, I was very scared. I thought he was going to come into my room and find me, but all he did was check the refrigerator. Then he left leaving me still in my bed very happy that he was gone.

After that day, I was afraid to take another drink of alcohol. I was afraid of getting into the same situation. So after that day, I didn't drink anymore. This really taught me what can happen if you drink. I learned that it's not worth getting drunk if you're going to get all paranoid about it. It's not worth the risk, stay sober. Don't risk ruining your whole life.

 __________________________________

Anonymous 25

______________________________________________________

My most memorable experience with alcohol would have to be the night after my grandmother and I put down her dog. That night and the three days that followed, I learned just what alcohol can turn an adult into; no more than an old child.

My grandmother and I had just walked through her door, having come from the veterinary hospital, and having just euthanized her dog. She immediately headed to the kitchen, and poured herself a drink; three quarters of a glass of vodka with a splash of Kailua. Not even an hour later, she was drunk, and still drinking.

At seven o'clock pm she was so drunk that I had to baby sit her. She couldn't walk without falling and her speech was incomprehensible. She refused to eat, and I had to confine her to her bedroom. All night long I had to help her back into bed because she had gone back into the kitchen for another drink. It was exhausting, and it was something that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Finally, at around seven o'clock am she fell asleep. I walked into the living room, laid down on the floor, and promptly slid into a deep slumber.

I woke up at ten thirty o'clock am to the sound of breaking glass; she dropped her glass, full of vodka, on the kitchen floor. Those kinds of things were common place for the next two days. She was drunk for three days straight! I cooked, cleaned, and watched after a sixty three year old woman. From this experience, I learned that becoming belligerently drunk is no solution; it's only an additional problem.

TheCitizensWhoCare.org was developed and is maintained by Gordon Clay
Through My Eyes™ is a
registered trademark of Gordon Clay